family drama is tiring. stop being so childish. your actions are disgusting.

i wish i had the kinda friends (or maybe just a best friend) who would hate him because he broke my heart.  i wish i had that support.  i needed it then, and hell, i still need it.

A part of a letter Chris McCandless wrote to a friend.

... You had a wonderful chance on your drive back to see one of the greatest sights on earth, the Grand Canyon, something every American should see at least once in his life. But for some reason incomprehensible to me you wanted nothing but to bolt for home as quickly as possible, right back to the same situation which you see day after day after day. I fear you will follow this same inclination in the future and thus fail to discover all the wonderful things that God has placed around us to discover. Don't settle down and sit in one place. Move around, be nomadic, make each day a new horizon...
    You are wrong if you think Joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against out habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living.
    My point is that you do not need me or anyone else around to bring this new kind of light in your life. It is simple waiting out there for you to grasp it, and all you have to do is reach for it. The only person you are fighting is yourself and your stubbornness to engage in new circumstances...

Just another girl with a dream in her heart
Wanna make a new start with a fire inside of her
She had to go
She couldn't stay around, everybody let her down
Stole the light and the life and the child inside of her
She's so alone
Running for the train
Take her far away from everything she knows
And the way they make her feel
She leaves today
Never look back never lose track already strong
She's seen too much at seventeen eighteen
The past will fade with the future that she craves
Carolyna Katie you travel so far
Trying to escape the pain, start again where you are
Carolyna Katie you keep following your star
Nobody said you're beautiful, you're beautiful the way you are
Finally you're free where you long to be
But it won't take long till hits reality
The streets are cold
Big, bad city gonna eat you up
Hard to survive, hard to keep your sanity
Still feeling low
But she's never going home
Carolyna Katie you travel so far...
She tries to rest
All she needs is a warm caress
All she wants is happiness
Carolyna Katie you travel so far...
So beautiful the way you are
So beautiful the way you are
Carolyna you travel so far...
Carolyna Katie.

When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wondered a few feet off the path, thats you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it's time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.

i'm in love with clint eastwood, circa dirty harry. yummmmmmy.



I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

If you had to pick a time period to live in, which would you choose? Why?

Hmmm. I don't really know much about specific eras... I think I would want to live in the time period that my parents grew up in.  Things weren't too expensive, children still had respect for their elders, education was cherished, the hollywood business wasn't as fucked up as it is now, gas was a resonable price, the air was cleaner, the water was fresher, the boys were cuter, Bush wasn't president, there wasn't a war.  I don't think there is any time period that was absolutely perfect.  But I think it would be cool to experience life the way my parents did.  I don't know.  My answer is dumb. I don't like this question ...

What's your favorite memory of your mother?

Wow. I really don't know ... Oh. When I was young, she used to sing me to sleep. I don't even remember the songs now and now I know that my mom is absolutely horrible at singing. But being that young, it worked. I fell asleep to her voice. And she always ended it with 'goodnight' and 'I love you'.

I love her.

What animal frightens you most, and why?

I'm going to give a reasonable answer to this question. Because I live in the country, I am mostly frightened of racoons. They just look scary and only come out at night to eat your garbage and their eyes glow and their tails are so thick and bushy and most of them are full of diseases like worms and rabies. I don't know. I'm weird.

What are you most sensitive about?

The past.
My body (including weight, skin, boobs, ass, etc.)
Sex.
Family/friend issues.
Issues like racism, sexism, war, rape, abuse, etc.
Love.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we were old? Then we could say we survived all this. Everything thing would be uncomplicated, the way it was when we were young?

Katie, it was never uncomplicated.

How many pair of shoes do you have? Out of those pairs, how many do you wear more than a few times a year?

I have a pair of roxy sneakers. I wear them the most. Def more then a few times a year.
2 pairs of flip flops. Wear then a lot during the summer months.
A not so warm pair of boots. Have worn them for the past ... two/three winters.
Just this year I got two new pairs of boots, but not really wintery boots. More like, fashion boots. Wore the one pair a lot. The other I only wore maybe twice.
I just bought a pair of heels. I have never worn them.
I got a pair of black ballet flats to wear to semi in grade 12, then I wore them all the time for the rest of the year. Haven't worn them since I graduated.
I have another pair of cute flats from Old Navy that I hardly wear because they hurt just so damn much. They are pretty though so I refuse to get rid of them.
I have two other flip flop time shoes, like the Indian kind with the beads and shit. I wear them during the summer.

So I have 11 pairs of foot wear.
Out of them, I have about 5 that I actually wear out.

Has anyone ever done something so horrible to you that "I'm sorry" couldn't fix it?

"I'm sorry" couldn't fix a broken heart. No matter how much he pretended to mean it.

What is one thing you MUST do before you go to bed at night?

Definetly pee. I hate having to get up in the middle of night, stumble out of bed and to the bathroom in the pitch black dark. I hate getting up in the morning to pee and then not being about to fall back asleep.

What fictional character do you relate to most and why?

I relate to Charlie from the Perks of Being a Wallflower the most.
No need to explain, read the book and you'll understand how and why.